Dave and I have realised that so many of us don't really have well though out, biblical, or informed opinions on some pretty weighty topics. So we're going to be posting on both of our blogs about them, lookng for opinions, facts, and bible verses relating to the big questions. In Peter 3.15 we are told to be prepared to give an answer - always - but so often these things aren't talked about in churches. When they are, it is usually very one sided, and doesnt allow for real world influences.
Weigh in to these. Argue, inform. make your opinion known. be willing to change your opinion. Learn, so that next time someone asks believer or not, you have a balanced, thought out answer. Also, be willing to give us more questions to pose. We want to go deeper, people. Check em out, here and at http://dave-punk-emo.blogspot.com/
To get us started: Is Marriage still relevant?
Do we still encourage marriage in today's society? Is it still the right way, or not culturally relevant? Is Commitment enough? Should there be marriage for christians and something else for others? Should it be harder to get married than it currently is? (currently all you need to do is apply for a license and wait 28 days)
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Marriage is one of those touchy subjects. People say that if we are in any way rule making, then we are oppresive and taking away their rights.
Follow the Bible in whatever you do.
A marriage is a relationship between or among individuals, usually recognized by civil authority and/or bound by the religious beliefs of the participants. The fact that marriage often has the dual nature of a binding legal contract plus a moral promise can make it difficult to characterize.
I think the big thing, that is so often forgotten today, is the moral promise that is meant to come with marriage. That coupled with a term I saw once in a pre-nup agreement 'short term marriage' say what society today think of mariiage.
Its no longer 'Til death do you part'. It's 'as long as its good for both of us'. I think their should be a difference between marriage and civil marriage. i dont think marriage should go the way so much of society has. Unlike a work contract, marriage should be a lifelong commitment, not easily broken.
I think Christians should still set the standard for marriage 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. ' Genesis 2:24 and hold to it in our society. Maybe it should be something not entered into as lightly or as inexperienced as many do though Maybe, once Christians know themselves properly outside of marriage, they will be better equipped to make a marriage last a lifetime. Guess i wouldnt know, not having been married myself.
There are four reasons for marriage:
1) it is a solution to sexual sin.
2) for the procreation of children.
3) an upstanding couple as an example to society.
4) love!
There are couple of rules for marriage:
* it's for two people (that means no one before, or during)
* it's till death do us part
with those rules and purposes, you had better be pretty serious about it- you need to love this person so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.
*no one before, or during.
Does this mean if you've had a relationship (I presume you mean a sexual relationship) before hand, you canot enter into marriage with someone?
Or is it ok to get married to someone just so sex is ok? (reason 2) or is it all four reasons together? Should couples only get married if they want to have children?
In ourlives, is there only ever 'the one'? Once we know we've found that person, is is someone we then marry, and if the feelings die, then we live with them? Or is it possible to divorce and then find happines with another?
Marriage should be becaue you are in love and its for real and forever. It should be with someone who you'v ealready been though a lot with, good and bad, and you're prepared to go through it all with again. It should be someone who believes in what you believe in and hopes in what you hope for.
Together, you should want to put the other second in everything, and know the other's best and worst sides. Separately you should know who you are and what your best and worst side is, how to be at your best, how to lean on the other when you are at your worst.
You should never have to compromise who you are, have been or want to be to make the marriage work, but have all those things work as part of the relationship.
For further hints, read Corinthians 13. I know it's cliched, but...
Hey y'all. I'm really wondering how important marriage should be made. Like, i do believe that marriage is sacred, only meant for two, but it just isn't the same in todays society.
Like, marriage should be a big deal without being a big deal. Forget big flashy weddings and all that, lets find the basics of two people being in love and committing their lives to each other. and finding ways to encourage that and grow that. Let the simpicity of their live be a lesson to others, and an encouragement. Civil, church, whatever. Straight, gay, whatever.
I heard someone say that:
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
Yes, Seth, marriage doesn't have to be the celebrity wedding. But. Marriage is a big deal. Its commiting your life to another person. You become one with that person, for the rest of your life. If you look at different cultures around the world, christian and non-christian, marriage, and weddings, have always been BIG afairs. Here in Bolivia as an example. Its always a BIG thing, cars decked out in confetti, ribbons and pink toilet paper, bride and groom covered in confetti, the bride always at least an hour late. There is always a lot of money spent on the wedding itself.
There is even an entire book of the Bible that focuses on the relationship between a man and his wife. Paul hits on the subject constantly. In the 10 commandments we are told not to commit adultery. Marriage is obviously a HUGE deal to God.
He even uses the example of the bridegroom as himself.
The reasons to get married: ALl of what Titanium listed, and also because you love that person, and you WANT to be with them the rest of your life. A lot of people enter marriage today not knowing if they really love the other person.
Well, thats all from me today.
(sorry for the long post)
So what can we do today to make people certain and sure that their marriage is one that will last?
Especially, how do we do that without making rules, being oppressive, taking away rights?
(which, by the way, is a big arguement fromt he homosexual lobby) But we'll leave the homosexual topic for another time.
Should their be a greater list of requirements to be able to get a marriage license? More time spent together, taking a course like prepare/enrich, establishing common goals, coming to terms with each others faults before marriage rather than finding out afterwards? What about living together before marriage?
The things I posted aren't exclusive- it's not like a bar, where if you are barefoot you can't come in (if you were permanently barefoot) You can make up for your mistakes.
I know people who are living together, have three kids, and are pretty much married, just with out the piece of paper and church ceremony. They are very committed, and plan to get married- some day.
Could a Christian get married with out the civil ceremony bit? I think so.
The more I think about it, I wonder what the big deal about marriage is- you can do all the things with out it. I guess I'll know if I get there.
Maybe it's a promise before God and your family and friends that you are going to love each other exclusively (you know what I mean) for the rest of your lives. Promises and covenants are pretty special to God.
rambling again...
Nice discussion you've got going on here Lucas. Just thought I'd drop by for a look... For me, marriage is something sacred, for only two people. "For this reason a man leaves his parents to be united with his wife"(circa). I agree with The General though, that it has to be someone you've been through a lot with, someone whom you know both their best and worst. The odd argument is actually healthy, well, I think so anyway. I think it can actually bring a deeper bond, after overcoming that argument/disagreement, and coming back together, understanding the other more.
But marriage, it seems to have lost its "glow" if you can understand what I mean. The divorce rate is going through the roof with one in three or one in four marriages ending in divorce. And the stats are not much different in or out of the church. How does one decide if they are ready to get married? Or if that person is "the one"?
Well, that's my two cents worth.
Ok. Thats the true question, how do you know your marrying the one you are supposed to actually be with?
First off; I have never been in love, and won't venture a comment on it, but I would say that as the General said, you know you can go through a lot with that particular person.
Plus marriage isn't easy, you have to make it work, and thats something that people don't see these days.
a quote from a book: (every young woman's battle) *roughly quoted*
You may marry Mr. Wrong. But as soon as that ring goes on your fingers, he becomes Mr. Right.
I think that's pretty rough. I agree that we all need to pay a price for our mistakes, but in a week where we have observed a day denouncing violence against women, we need to recognise that sometimes divroce is the right option. Women shouldnt be forced to kowtow to a 'Mr Right' just because she made the mistake of marrying the guy. You'd have to add violation of her (or his) rights to adultery as reasons for divorce.
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